ellenrachel:

INFJs, what are your experiences with counseling (i.e., therapy)?

I found a few threads on the matter, which seem to agree that counseling may not be for everyone. I have worked with two therapists previously, though I did not greatly enjoy either experience. Granted, I was young— 13— and…

I usually think therapy is a positive experience, but I have a hard time finding the right therapist. My problem is usually that, true to INFJ character, I spend more of my sessions analyzing my therapist than actually figuring myself out. It’s annoying to me, but I can’t stop. I’m always trying to pick up on their reactions to what I’ve just said and feel the need to validate whatever they say to me, even if I think it’s wrong. I get frustrated in therapy very easily if I feel like I’m not being understood, but I keep those frustrations to myself because it makes me feel guilty for some reason. I also get very angry when therapists assume things about me— that I have a problem I don’t have, that I haven’t thought something through, that I haven’t considered other options. I sometimes want to scream “I’m an INFJ, damnit, all I do is sit around and ruminate on this shit all day, I think I know what I’m talking about.” But, instead, I clam up and never bring it up again, or agree with whatever the therapist is saying just to get them to shut up.

The worst part is that I’m really good at lying, and when I do those things to essentially push my therapist away, they don’t usually notice. And then I get mad that they are just as easily tricked as any other person I may have talked to about said problem and usually just stop going to therapy because I feel like they’ve failed me but I don’t want to say that to them so I just make up some excuse for not coming back.