ilusmaailm:

Why would you not think that when he (God) came back he wouldn’t go:

“What the fuck did you do? I gave this (Earth) to you motherfucker, are you crazy? The polar bears are brown! What did you.. what did you do to the polar bears? Did you shit all over every polar bear? What did you.. Who did this, who spilled this shit? Who spilled it? Come over, did you fucking spill this? What is that?”

HUMAN: It’s oil. It’s just some oil. I didn’t mean to spill…

GOD: Well why did you take it out of the fucking ground?

HUMAN: Cause I wanted to go faster. I don’t.. I’m not.. not.. fast enough.. and I was cold..

GOD: What the fuck do you mean cold? I gave you everything you needed, you piece of shit!

HUMAN: Well.. cause.. jobs.. wh… I wanted…

GOD: What is a job? What is.. explain to me what’s a fucking job?

HUMAN: You.. well go.. like, you go to a place and people call when their.. their game doesn’t work and you help them figure out..

GOD: What do you do that for?

HUMAN: Well, money..

GOD: What do you need money for?

HUMAN: Food.

GOD: Just eat the shit on the floor! I left shit all over the floor, fucking corn and wheat and shit. Ground them, make some bread! What are you doing?

HUMAN: Yeah but it doesn’t.. it doesn’t have like, bacon around it and like.. I like when it has like.. like bacon on it and..